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I’ve been so confused, this is a confusing place. It’s a sickness. I should have been writing more but I’ve either had no time or no words. When you are confused yourself, how are you to explain to anyone else what it is you are seeing. 

The first two weeks here were spent recording my EP all over again, which was very cool. I felt happy working everyday and making progress in something. Especially at the studio, where I feel so happy and safe, they have snacks and soda and a cosy couch and everyone is usually happy.  The equipment is so so super and it makes me like my voice which I don’t always. 

We went to PA to clean my Dad’s house and church (he wasn’t a vicar or anything, he just used to do weird shit like buy churches and renovate them. He also bought old cars, horses, horse carts, a school bus the list goes on…all totally sound investments as I’m sure you can imagine) The experience was weird but ok, I didn’t cry. We drank a lot and we laughed a lot, I feel like that’s probably what he did there. If you have never heard of Beavertown Pennsylvania then you are normal, it used to be a small town and over the years it’s slowly begun to disappear. All that’s left are the homes, a bank, beer shop and gas station and post office. There is also a vending machine on the main road but I don’t know if it works. I didn’t even see any amish this time, which was a let down as I love to see them. They look awesome and beautiful and I envy and admire their way of life, terribly. My Dad seemed to have some kind of weird obsession with metal lawn furniture, we found hundreds of them in the church and also under the house in the basement. Some were very beautiful but they had mostly rusted in to one another, which was a huge shame. The house had always been his absolute pride and joy, it was his home. In the last 5 years of his life his priorities changed and so did the house, so for me it was therapeutic to make it a home again, which is how I choose to remember it.

Back in LA where they have salads and brown rice things have been going well, so we have decided to extend the trip to make the most of the opportunities that have arisen. Last week I had a clear moment and have decided to scrap my EP, lol. Not lol. But actually lol. I’ve been trying to release it for like 3 years and subsequently I’m over it. During the first two weeks here we wrote this one song that has changed everything and set me free. So that’s also why we have to stay, because now I have to start finishing my EP all over again. 

We are going to Santa Barbara this weekend and I can’t wait, I can’t wait. 

Here is a programme about big blue whales I have been watching, apparently they feed off the coast of SB at the end of summer and I need to go and see them and make that happen. I love whales, can you believe there is still something so big and magical and mysterious on this earth. Swimming around. When I can’t sleep or I feel anxious I look at pictures of whales. They trump everything ever. They are so much better than us. 

You should also listen to this and also watch it. 

K Bye x